How many of you have been hearing the rise of “YOLO” aka “You Only Live Once” and “Carpe Diem”  or, my personal favorite, “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” from “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas?  I love the idea of just living life to its fullest and not worrying about anything else! Who cares about paying bills? Life is meant to be lived! To hell with responsibilities! Let’s go travel! Here in lies one of my greatest internal battles I face on a daily basis—the battle of mindsets between living in the moment, versus working toward the future.

            I desperately want to live in the moment and enjoy the beauty of the everyday. I want to explore the possibilities that lay outside my comfort zone.  I made a personal commitment to live life with passion and love, so I keep my bags packed 24/7 for random, spontaneous adventures; but at the same time, that bag is over packed to prepare for any situation I may encounter.

            I often find myself living in either one extreme or the other.  I can get laser-focused on my health and building my business to the point where I lose track of the world around me.  During these times, I want success more than anything else; and my lifestyle reflects it.  I will even have family and close friends ask me where I’ve been. I love getting that random phone call from my dad asking me if I’m still alive!  I have big dreams for my future, as many do; and I work very hard towards accomplishing them.  One of my biggest fears is dying before I have had a chance to make the impact I desire.  I know in order to accomplish everything I want to, it’s going to involve sacrifice and lots of hard work, which I am ok with.  I love being busy and productive, as I know it’s helping me with my life’s purpose; but what am I missing by living like that?

            On the flip side of living laser-focused is the self-exploration and awareness journey I’ve been on the last year.  I took some time to be extremely present and live consciously in each moment. I needed to learn more about and become a better version of myself in order to help others. I have experienced and learned so much by living this way, and I have grown immensely from it. After some time of living in that mindset, I get anxious thoughts of “Is it selfish of me to want to live in the moment?  Is it wrong to take each minute and enjoy it to the fullest extent of its possibility when I have so much to do?” One of my biggest problems with living in the moment is that I feel as if I’m wasting precious time and not becoming the man I feel I was intended to be.

            I honestly believe you have to find your own personal balance. You have to find the balance that creates the greatest possible happiness in your life. That is my struggle. I have an internal battle of fear that exists from the dyad of missing that precious moment versus not excelling toward my dreams. The fear exists in both thoughts, and it often causes an extreme amount of anxiety for me. I do different exercises to deal with it, but it’s still my never-ending battle. I know finding that balance will be a constant work-in-progress as life evolves, and I make decisions that have consequences yet to be known.  One conclusion I have come up for myself is only after achievement can I truly enjoy those present, beautiful moments. Currently, when I try to take “down time,” my thoughts are consumed with what I should be doing for my business.  All I can honestly say right now is that I’m trying—I’m trying to be the best version of myself; I’m trying to enjoy the beautiful moments of life and the amazing people that surround me and at the same time, work as hard as I can to leave this world better than I found it.

            How do you find your balance? How do you enjoy the present and still excel toward your dreams?